Shire Shock
by So-there-NAH
Summary: AU, Frodo is peacefully eating a pre-breakfast snack, when 5 random people fall through his roof. My first fic...
1. Hobbit meets Girl or multiples thereof

as introduced by lexxie_lizzie...  
  
Disclaimerer: I do not own lotr (book or movie), nor do I own any of the non-lotr characters (excluding Caitrin) – they are real people…in essence…  
  
*************************************************************************  
  
The sun was gently dawning over Hobbiton. All was calm, with occasional sparrow flitting from tree to tree. In fact, all was calmly calm, even calmly calmfully calm, not to mention tranquil. Really, I s'pose it was tranquilly calm and calmfully tranquil, especially in the kitchen of Bag End. Frodo had just woken & was getting himself a pre-Breakfast snack of a Danish from the pantry, when he heard a sudden, terrific *bangcrashsmackthud* coming from the living room. Followed by a single voice *dingalingaling!!*  
  
Frodo fearfully entered the room. However, what he saw surprised him even more than he had expecting to be surprised (which is not surprising really).  
  
What he did see was 5 teenaged girls. The first was blonde, leggy and busty – she dusted herself off and flashed a brilliant display of straight white teeth, skipped over to him, and exclaimed "Hi-my-name-is-Pixxie!!" She flipped her hair, Pantene style, over her shoulder, and sat perched herself on the closest chair, which was considerably smaller than she was.  
  
The next was olive skinned and violet haired; apart from colouring, she looked and acted, much like an elf. She prowled, cat-like, over to the fire and gracefully plonked herself in front of it (something not many can do!!). The blonde one, Pixxie, giggled. "That's Arkazel!"  
  
"What about me?!?!?!" half screamed, half sung (Shannon Noll style, but considerably better – anyone can sing better than Shannon) a girl similar in height to Pixxie. She had Big, dark green eyes…and shoulder length green hair…AND SHE GLOWED LIME GREEN!! In fact, she didn't just glow…she EMANATED greenness. She curled into a little ball, looked up at him, poked her tongue out and said, "I'm Rhyski…"  
  
A short girl with waist length dark red hair, and emitting azure and orange sparkles, starting singing. It was the kind of randomly cheerful, bouncy music you hear in movies when everybody's happy. He kinda just knew her name was Caitrin; maybe she had introduced herself in the song? She then got up and began to dance about the room, and it fitted her song. He felt like joining in, and all of a sudden everybody in the room got up and did the heel and toe tango.  
  
Once they had all collapsed in an exhausted heap on the ground (with Caitrin still singing), an even shorter girl exclaimed "Let's do that again!!" She had very short hair, which was in two ponytails, and somehow looked like two pompoms had magically attached themselves to the sides of her head. She was dressed from head to toe in scarlet, including a magnificent long, very full skirt covered in embroidery. Over one arm she was carrying an absolutely enormous bag, overflowing with lace and satin, velvet and netting; under the other, a large black book. She rolled over to Frodo (who had shuffled away once he had regained control of himself) and put out her hand. "I'm Lexxie!!" she said with a grin somehow cute-little-girlish, and rather evil. Suddenly, she withdrew her hand and plunged it into the bag, pulling out a flouncy powder blue dress, covered in layer upon layer of lace. "It will bring out the colour of your eyes, I think…it cost me three dollars at the Red Cross Shop!!"  
  
Frodo backed away, if not frightened then at least very disturbed. Who are these girls? WHAT are they?! And what in Middle Earth are they doing in the MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! He glanced up at the hole they came through, hoping there was someway they might fly back out of it…only that the hole had disappeared. So I'm stuck with them? Is that it?! Nooooooooooooooooooo!!  
  
****************************************************************************************  
  
Please review!! It's my first fic, so any advice is appreciated.  
  
And please limit it to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism… 


	2. War of the Danishes

Thanks for the reviews!! I feel so loved!!  
  
Disclaimer: same as last chapter...who's reading this without having read the first ayway?!  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Realisation dawned upon Frodo. These strange girls were not going to disappear magically back through the hole in his ceiling. The situation was not going to take care of itself. He was going to have to find something to do with them, get rid of them…and as soon as possible.  
  
Whilst Frodo was deep in thought, Caitrin, humming happily to herself, noticed the untouched Danish still in Frodo's hand. Her humming changed to the Mission Impossible theme…she stealthily crawled across the floor (not hampered in the least by her shin length orange skirt), dodged Arkazel, commando rolled over Rhyski, crawled under Pixxie's legs, knocked Lexxie over and seized it. Her eyes widened as she gazed at it lovingly…"My own, my presssssshhhhhhioussssssssssssssssss….." she hissed. "What flavour is it?" she continued matter-of-factly, completely in contrast to her previous tone.  
  
"Err, apple, I think…"   
  
Suddenly, Lexxie snatched it from Caitrin's hand. "Apple?!?! I WANT one!!" Rhyski jumped up and ran over.  
  
"No, I WANT IT!!"  
  
"No, I DO!!!!!"  
  
"TOO, BAD, IT'S MINE!!" Caitrin screamed, and snatched it off them.  
  
Unfortunately for Caitrin, this did nothing to deter Lexxie and Rhyski, who simultaneously leapt upon her, toppling her to the floor. Lexxie then wrestled it from the suddenly disinterested Caitrin's grasp. Lexxie held it in the air in triumph, but it was short-lived, as Rhyski tore it from her hands and licked it. Frodo was disgusted, but Lexxie was not deterred in the least. She wrenched the Danish down to her height and also licked it. Yet Rhyski was not so easily defeated. She bent down and sneezed on it. Lexxie blew her nose on it. Rhyski dug out a large glob of earwax and smeared it across the Danish. Lexxie wiped it under her arms. Rhyski grabbed it off Lexxie and shoved it down her shirt, poking out her tongue. Victory was hers.  
  
Lexxie ran up to Rhyski and gave her an enormous hug, smearing the Danish all over Rhyski, and thus making it inedible…  
  
And throughout this, what had the others been doing? Well, Frodo had been watching disgustedly at the torture his poor Danish received. Pixxie and Arkazel were watching amusedly form a safe distance, with the air of those who have seen it happen many times. And Caitrin had…disappeared!  
  
Frodo looked around with an air of panic…where could she be?! It certainly wasn't safe letting any of them out of his sight; even IN his sight it was apparent they caused doom and destruction. Pixxie, seeing his look, decided to help. "You might like to try the pantry?"  
  
The entire group followed Frodo to his pantry. They crept slowly and stealthily towards the doors. Frodo reached out his hand to open them, when they burst open of their own accord. Out sprung a very contented looking Caitrin, looking somewhat dishevelled, followed by two very familiar faces…Pippin and Merry. Frodo gasped…this confirmed the fears he had formed on hearing Pixxie's warning…The pantry that had been overflowing earlier was now completely empty. Suddenly, Caitrin's hand shot out, grabbed something and shot back to her mouth. She looked around…"What? I missed a crumb!!"  
  
"Yeah!" added Pippin, indignantly. "She ate all of it!!"  
  
"We only got 3 Danishes, a bread roll and a cold chicken each!!"  
  
"Well, I actually got 2 bread rolls…"  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Merry shot Caitrin an evil look.  
  
"What? I couldn't help it – he looked so sweet!!" She then patted Pippin on the head. Suddenly, her face lit up, with the air of someone making a great discovery. Lost for words, all she could utter was  
  
"LOOK!! LOOK!!"  
  
All gazed at her expectantly, if somewhat blankly. Breathing very deeply, obviously trying to stop herself from exploding with excitement, she cried –   
  
"I'M TALLER THAN PIPPIN!!!"  
  
The girls groaned; the hobbits just continued to stare, somewhat confused.  
  
"I'm taller than someone!! I'm taller than someone!!" she sang, skipping around the room. She was just passing Pippin again when Arkazel laughed.  
  
"Not for long!!"  
  
And Caitrin was attacked by a swirl of deep violet sparks, so thickly that none could see her. When the sparks disappeared, Caitrin appeared unchanged…until she burst into a tantrum, ran up to Arkazel, and attempted to slap her across the face. Attempted, because, jump as she might, she could not reach. She had been shrunk down to hobbit size.  
  
*******************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Please review!! Even you, Arkazel, who is probably laughing so hard she won't be able to type (RUDE PERSON!!) 


	3. Let Us Dance

Caitrin suddenly gave up trying to slap Arkazel, threw herself down in the centre of the room, and began to cry (very noisily). The hobbits looked uncomfortable; Arkazel and Pixxie just laughed, and Rhyski just glowed green (as usual). Lexxie looked thoughtful for a moment, and then pulled a flowing dark blue gown from her bag.  
  
"This will fit you now!!"  
  
Caitrin just glared daggers at her. "Great." Even through the tears and shrieks, she managed to sound incredibly sarcastic, before snatching out of Lexxie's hands.  
  
Lexxie shrugged, and pulled out another. "And this would fit you, I think…green'd be a great colour on you…wait…YOU'RE PIPPIN!!!" she shrieked suddenly, before collapsing in the middle of the floor.  
  
Pippin looked from Lexxie's now unconscious form to Caitrin, who was struggling to get out from under Lexxie. While once this would have been no problem, her new size made this extremely difficult. He shrugged and went to help Caitrin out.  
  
Frodo and Merry had no idea what to do. Suddenly, Frodo turned to Merry, confused.  
  
"So how did you two get in here?"  
  
"Weeeell, we were just passing by…" He was here interrupted by a snort from Frodo. Merry glared at him and continued.  
  
"As I said, we were just passing by when we heard some very odd noises. We came in to investigate, when we found, ummm…"  
  
"Caitrin."  
  
"Pip, how did you know her name was Caitrin?"  
  
"She told me."  
  
"Oh, right. Well, we found Caitrin, and she told us if we led her to the pantry, she'd share whatever she found with us. Which sounded a good deal at the time…" He sighed. "How was I to know she'd be able to eat so much?! She looked so small…" Suddenly, he began to laugh. "And she looks even smaller now!!"  
  
Without any warning, he found himself being smothered by a length of deep orange satin. And just as quickly, it being pulled away. It was replaced with Arkazel's face. She was smiling, like a cat that had a small and very frightened mouse between its paws. She fluttered her eyelashes. Merry was very frightened. What was she going to do to him?! And why wasn't Frodo doing anything about it?!  
  
But Frodo was quite incapable of doing anything, at all. He was receiving a somewhat similar treatment at the hands of Pixxie.  
  
Rhyski decided that she, too, would have some fun. She grabbed Caitrin by one hand, Pippin with another, and somehow still managed to grab Lexxie. She then began doing the tango with Caitrin, leaving Pippin to dance with Lexxie. Upon noticing that she was in Pippin's arms, Lexxie suddenly sprang back into consciousness, and dragged him him into the dance, constantly flashing him enormous (and rather evil looking) smiles.  
  
It was at this point that Gandalf, his previous attempts at being heard at the door unnoticed, stormed into the room.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Now, review!! (s'il vous plaît…) 


End file.
